Things Six Year Olds Can't Say
by amon-strosity
Summary: Title says all. They are in class and starts swearing at each other. Featuring Hermione, Draco, Harry, Ron, Pansy, Blaise, Ginny, Luna, Seamus, Dean, Lavender etc


**Things Six-Year-Olds Can't Say**

"Idiot!"

"Bastard!"

"I have a dad and my parent's are married!"

"Bitch!"

"Snitch!"

"Poo!"

"Piece of Crap!"

"Weirdo!"

"Pussy!"

"Dick!"

"*The finger*"

"Retard!"

"Imp!"

"Racist!"

"Lesbian!"

"What's that?"

"Gay!"

"Freak!"

"Fag!"

"Fat!"

"I'm not fat, I have cellulites!"

"Anorexic!"

"Pervert!"

"Buck-toothed!"

"Yeah!"

"Loser!"

"Ugly!"

"Hey!"

"Whore!"

"Slut!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Hermione screamed as loud as she could to stop the on-going cussing commotion going on around her. Her ears couldn't take it anymore.

All eyes turned to her and they all stopped chatter.

"What are you all bloody doing?" she cried, appalled that her classmates were swearing whilst the teacher was out of the classroom.

"Oh, Granger. Stop swearing it's bad" Draco Malfoy said, nudging her and everyone laughed.

"Stop that, Malfoy. I wasn't swearing. _You_were swearing! We're only six years old" she told them and pushed him back.

"So?" they all chorused.

"So, these are things six-year-olds can't say" she told them.

"I'm not six. I'm seven" Seamus Finnegan raised his short arms and stood up.

"Seamus, you're not seven. You're birthday was two months ago and you turned six then" she said and rolled her eyes.

"No! I told you I'm seven, dammit" he shouted.

"Whatever. Anyway, the teacher will be coming back soon so shut up" she warned.

Everyone gasped jokingly.

"Granger told us to shut up. Who's swearing now?" Harry Potter said and pointed an accusing finger at her.

"It's not me. I haven't even swore until today and it's all because of you" she pointed back, scared.

"Oh,that's right. Goody-goody, two-shoes and teacher's pet" Lavender Brown giggled and started twirling her soft curls on her finger, chewing her gum noisily. Hermione glared and pouted.

"Am not"

"Are too"

"Am not"

"Are too"

"You were the ones who cussed first" she said.

"So, everyone cusses. Why shouldn't we?" Draco piped up.

"Because we're six years old. We can't swear." she retorted, getting annoyed as were they.

"AHHH! Finnegan just stole my lucky charms. Told you he was a leprechaun" screamed Luna Lovegood and started poking Seamus on the shoulder.

"Did not! Just because i'm irish doesn't mean I'm a leprechaun" he defended.

"Yes, it does. You're so Irish that you've turned into a leprechaun" Luna replied, folding her arms.

"Hey, you're me" Harry pointed at Dean Thomas's forehead. Both had lightning-shaped scars.

"Um, it was already there. I didn't, um, copy you or anything" he cried.

"Oh, Dean. D'you know what this means? We're bloody twins. Great, my fucking parents die on me and they don't even bother leaving me a letter telling me you're my twin." Harry huffed.

Dean smiled and cheered a little inside.

Draco scratched his head.

"So, does this mean there's two Potter's now?" he asked with a grimace.

Dean and Harry nodded.

"Oh, shit! Great, another bloody arrogant idiot who cant even spell avada kedavra" he muttered. Hermione shook her head.

"You know that spell? Malfoy's dad must be good" Pansy Parkinson stood and leaned on Draco's shoulder as he smirked.

Pansy glared at everyone else in the room and Blaise Zabini stood up as well.

"Yeah, you should see him in action. He is loaded as well" he piped up arrogantly.

Everyone gasped, impressed except Hermione who just scoffed.

"What are you scoffing for, Granger. You're just a stupid mudblood who can't even do anything except not have fun" Pansy screeched at her.

"T-that's not true at all! I can have fun" she said.

Everyone shook their heads.

"Yeah, and I do drugs" Ginny Weasley scoffed. Everyone looked at her and agreed.

"No, really I do" she said. Everyone looked at her again, shocked.

"You're only bloody six!" Hermione cried.

"Actually I'm five but it's my birthday in two weeks" she said. Hermione rolled her eeys and turned back to Draco, Pansy and Blaise.

"Hey, what's a mudblood?" Neville Longbottom said out of nowhere.

"Someone who's muggle-born but learns about magic, mudblood" Blaise replied, sneering the last word at Neville.

"Hey! I'm pureblood" he defended.

"oh, shit" Blaise said.

"I'm a pureblood" Ron interrupted. "Me too!" Harry yelled.

"No you're not Potter! See, you're a liar as well" Draco retorted. Harry bowed his head in shame.

"So, who cares. Just stop fucking swearing you bloody idiots. Youre only six fucking years old and you can't even say the word 'impressed' but you can swear. If you don't stop-"

"Oh, my. Hermione, What are you doing? You're swearing." Hermione turned around feeling guilty and saw her teacher standing there, frozen, pale and unimpressed hearing her bestest student swear.

Hermione pouted." Oh, I'm sorry Ms Cuss but-"

Ron interrupted again." Hey, her name's 'Cuss' so it's a sign, right?" he shrugged.

The teacher gasped, appalled and offended.

"I go out to fuck the principa-I mean to get some board rubbers and Hermione, my best student, you're here all swearing. Things six-year-olds can't say! I'm appalled" she clutched her heart. "I might have to call your parents, Miss Granger" she said.

"Oh, fuck it" she muttered.

**A/N: Review please!**


End file.
